Monday, 16 December 2013

A Yuletide Horror (part 3)

Me and Steve- or Steve and I- ducked behind a crowd of people as Suzy came out. When we were sure she had disappeared down the corridor and into the courtyard, we jumped out from behind the crowd we hid behind, got shouted at and then ran into the Professors room. Professor Wendall J Orchard is a professor of biology by day, but by night, he dons a mask that really doesn't hide his face and becomes a teacher and a student on the social understanding of supernatural phenomenon as effected and changed by everyday life. To be truthful, if you'd met him, you wouldn't think he'd be able to say something so long. Standing at five foot three, the professor had long flowing hair, wore mustardy colours and started studying biology so he could understand the frogs better. Instead, he ended up dissecting them.
"What do you want to know lad?" Asked the professor.
"The possessed Christmas tree sir, the one you were telling Suzy about." Steve answered,
"Oh, yes! What do you want to know about it?"
"Everything!" Cried Steve.
"Everything?" Replied the professor. "I can't tell you everything!"
"Why ever not?" I demanded suspiciously.
"Because I don't know everything, of course!"
I nodded.` It made sense. "Well at least tell us, where do they come from?"
His answer wasn't what we expecting. I was expecting it to include a location. It actually included balaclavas and night vision binoculars.

Dobbies. A garden centre that, surprisingly, came after the elf. It also sat next to a set of allotments. These allotments stood in front of a forest. The forest was where I was attacked. Me, Suzy, Steve, Professor Orchards and David- or I, Suzy, Steve, Professor Orchards and David- lay in a bush in the allotments at six o clock at night. It was winter, so things were getting dark. That's where the night vision goggles came in. We took it in turns to peer through the metal fence and into Dobbies, and for over an hour, it just felt like we were lying in a bush observing a garden centre and freezing to death. I announced my feelings to the professor. His reply was, "Hang on. I think that gnome just moved."
I took up my night vision goggles and stared into the garden centre. And sure enough, the gnome had moved. It had fallen off the bench it was on. And I could see what had knocked it off. A propelled pine needle. And then more and more gnomes fell off, as a Christmas tree fired pine needles at it. "Holy cow." Whispered David.
The Christmas tree raced forward, destroying the bench as it moved and then we saw the others. A pantheon of over, what must have been, 100 trees, amassing on this first tree. They each had their own personalities, some strong and tall, others thin and weedy. But they all had one thing in common. They were all deeply malevolent.
Having seen what we'd come to see, we climbed out from the bush and pulled our balaclavas off. "I don't think I've ever seen something so, so-"
"Evil?" I suggested.
"Malevolent?" Suggested Steve.
"Deeply frightening and terrible on a level of empathy only felt by the strongest souls?" Suggested Suzy, as overly dramatic as ever.
"Monstrous?" Suggested David.
"I was going to say festive. But hey! We've just gone and discovered a completely new species! And a malevolent one at that."
Suzy nodded. "Good point. What do you think we should do?"
"Do what any good human being would do!" I cried.
They all turned to me.
"Destroy it."

To be concluded...

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